Oct 24 2009 OK I Behaved Like a Jerk

It was one of those days when everything just sort of tensed up and I freaked out a little bit. OK I admit I was something of a jerk.

What led to this admission were numerous things.  We planned to have supper at home but Manoj didn’t do the purchasing for it so we had to go out. Since we wanted to go to a certain Tibetan restaurant it entailed a bit of travel planning since cars are not allowed on the mall road until after 10PM and I didn’t want to wait that long. So we drove to Gandhi Chowk and had a hard time finding anywhere to park the car. Then we had to take a cycle rickshaw to Jhulaghar and then walk a bit. This was OK.

I was a bit tired and feeling a little tense since the carp etal were talking with someone about my religious practices. Some guy was upset that I did the puja thing at Ram Lila or that’s the way it sounded. He also sounded waaay drunk. So she was telling him we keep religious things in our house and I was respecting Hinduism-hey at least she sort of stuck up for me.  He calmed down. I heard all this conversation before we left.

We got to the restaurant and the waiter was like in another world or something. We ordered a plate of the deep fried lotus root (my favorite) and two thukpa (soup). Then we ordered a coke and a fresh lime soda as well. He brought the lotus root and one soup. Then the drinks. We were waiting and waiting for the other soup and he hadn’t even written it down.

So finally we got the second soup and Manoj wanted to trade with me so I would get the hotter one. It is considerate but both were certainly hot enough. Then he wanted to have half my coke and for me to have half the fresh lime soda. And then as I was eating the soup he wanted me to have more lotus root. I was feeling like I was about 5 years old with all this attention to my feeding.  I don’t know what was up with that.

So then we are trying to eat and this whole table full of Bengali people came in. A big family of 8-3 kids and the rest adults. As I ate all the kids turned in their chairs and stared at me. That’s fine I am used to that. Then 2 of the adults did as well. Now this happens in villages and stuff so usually I could ignore it. But these weren’t village folk. The ladies had on all western clothes in the latest styles and kids had cell phones and the whole bit. And mostly they were talking in English so likely they were from Calcutta which has thousands of foreigners. I started to feel like some creature in a zoo. And then they were passing comments about how I eat with chopsticks and stuff (that’s how you eat Thukpa soup as it has noodles and stuff) like I couldn’t even hear them. Finally I just looked up at them and said in a very nasty voice, “Can I help you?” The teenage girl turned back around shocked. All fell silent. Then I said “I am not here for your entertainment.” They all turned around and attended to their own food.

That is the first time I’ve had a bad reaction to this staring business. I would never be so rude to village people but these folks were educated and from the city and should have known better!

By then I was just feeling too pissed off to finish my meal so I put money on the table and left. I walked most of the way home from there as the damn rickshaw cycle drivers tried to charge me 40 rupees for the return trip to Gandhi Chowk when I know the price is 20. As we walked away they started shouting “30, 30″ but we kept walking. I didn’t want to go in the car so I kept walking almost all the way home (about 2 kilometers) and then Manoj caught up with me in the car and I took a ride when we were almost to home.

I just wanted to keep on walking to burn off the angry energy. Some days everyone just loses their cool sometimes. I’m no exception.

Anyways in the aftermath I am feeling more calm and real tired. I really want to move out of Mussoorie.  I’m sick of all these gossipy idiots and gawkers. It reminds me of when I was married years ago to a well-known person. People would stare at us in Canada all the time and we even had people taking photos and stuff. It was horrible. But here I’m not famous-though since everyone knows I’m a writer that’s part of it with the locals. As for the rest I am just some weird white bird to stare at. Cultural displacement or whatever has gotten to me this time.

So for the first time in nearly 8 years I acted like a jerk. That’s plenty of patience I think. Will try not to do it again. Have decided not to go out to the main part of town for some time to come.  I rarely go there anyways. Pretty much anything I need I can get here or when we go to Dehra Dun, where there are quite a few foreigners and much less gawking (though a little).

I feel like going home today. But I’ll wait on that for a while. Am going in less than 6 weeks anyways.